Rachel Erazo (modronlotus)
Have you ever been in love or raised by someone that makes your life a living hell?
I have, and it really takes a toll.
I was raised with a toxic, flip-floppy parent. One moment I felt supported and loved and the next everything I did was wrong. It was emotionally and mentally abusive. Every day was a battle between their expectations and my own self-worth.
I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t love me. I was a place holder; they only held me or spent time with me because he couldn’t be with the woman he loved. The partnership was filled with mind games, knowing that the man I loved was imagining I had a different face.
I’d wake up in the morning wondering: What did I do to deserve so much hate from a person? Will I ever be in a loving, committed relationship with someone who actually cares about me? What if everything they say is true; am I really worthless?
Believe me, none of it is true. You’re worth more than what a parent says. You’re worth more than what your ex would do to you. You deserve: A loving, committed relationship that’s 50/50 A supportive, compassionate family environment that you aren’t ashamed of A sense of belonging in your relationships with no strings attached
So let’s look at 3 ways you can start forgetting those negative people and moving forward towards a better future.
1 – ACCEPT THAT THE NEGATIVE HAPPENED
The majority of people try to bury their emotions and thoughts after trauma has happened.
“If I don’t think about it, it’ll go away.” “No one will blame or pity me if I never talk about what she did.” “I can put on a happy face and maybe I’ll start feeling happy after ignoring it.”
If you don’t acknowledge the trauma, it doesn’t go away. It festers and eats away slowly. It will still be there ten years later.
2 – RELEASE HOW THE TRAUMA TRIGGERS YOU
In college, I was apart of a play that dealt with a drunk driving crash. I played a lawyer and one scene included my client screaming at me. I started crying immediately; it was a situation where I was being yelled at and I couldn’t do anything about it. So the tears flowed. This happened because of trauma from my toxic relationships.
When we bury these moments, that’s how we having triggering moments out of no where.
This will come out in other ways. Maybe you run away from conflict. Maybe you suffer from anxiety and freeze up. Maybe you cry when your angry because you can’t do anything. Maybe you push people out of your life to avoid the abuse again.
Discovering what your triggers are and how you react is a MAJOR step in the healing process. You can then start changing things.
3 – BE OPEN AND SHARE
Talk about what happened. Share with someone, even if it’s a friend or your friendly, neighborhood tarot reader.
Just because there wasn’t any physical or sexual abuse involved in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s worthless to talk about it. Just because you had a horrible experience doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
Bottling up that pain has gotten you no sense of happiness of relief so far. It’s time to talk and release it all.
You’re going to feel a million times better and your future relationships will benefit immediately.
One of the best ways to start healing from one of these relationships is with an in-depth, accurate, and honest tarot reading. We’ll find the source of the harm from your toxic relationship and start clearing it away.
Chat with me today and start healing tomorrow.